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Location: Bangalore, India

"Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I am in special need of help, the good deed is usually done by somebody on whom I have no claim" ~William Feather

Friday, September 28, 2007


Many moons ago while in college, there was this particular day when a session went on for 3 hours without a break. There were many a bladder full and waiting for release and nirvana. The lecture finished, and there was a mad dash to the rest room. The ones who could actually walk/jog/run without looking like something unpleasant stuck up their posteriors, made it there first. There was a collective sigh of relief, and AM’s voice piped up…

Maaann!…this is better than sex…!!!!!”

At that point in time, it was quite a statement to make. I am assuming that for most people in that rest room that day, it would have been slightly difficult to relate the two, since they would have only experienced nirvana from release of the bladder, and not the other bit.

He became a hero to some…and ostracized by the “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU!” types.

While on the subject, I have come to notice two stances that men seem to take while doing the dew.

First – looking down. At what I can only imagine. Leaves me wondering if it is some form of a water fetish. Trying to figure out where the gush is coming from, like one doesn’t already know? Like one HAS to know? Or is it more the, “Oh, it’s still there, Am I glad or what?!!!”

Second – Looking up, head tilted to the heavens, with eyes closed. One is thanking the Almighty that HE/SHE got one to the restroom in time to avert an accident? Ideas seem to hit just at that precise moment? Or simply the self assurance that “I am complete and everything is where it has to be..!!!!!”

I, look straight ahead, and say a tiny prayer that I don’t splash my trousers, do the needful and get out with pants and pride intact.

Nirvana accomplished.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

When Perfect isn't good enough

Sunday was good. Woke up bright and early. Especially after an extended session of liver bruising liquids and laughter the previous night. Gave mum quite a shock, when she heard that he was going for Mass. Mums are Mums you see. Walked up to him, and asked,
"So who is it?"
Stupid blush happened.
He replied "Nobody"
She nodded and "hhmmnnned"
So he takes off all shaved and smelling nice, to pick "nobody" up. Upon sighting her, his heart skips a beat. Can't look directly at her. He is just glad that seats don't face one another in cars. They head to this famous old church in the middle of the city. Her fragrance is quite not the thing to be inhaling if one has to concentrate on the road. Manages it somehow. Finds parking and starts the walk to church. It had to be the best feeling of the entire day by far.
During Mass, she leaned over and whispered something in his hear, and he was certain she was smiling. He could sense it. All though the words just didn't register. She was standing too close to him.
Mass done, they head out for breakfast at this landmark eating place for appams and stew. They do a lot of talking. About everything. About nothing. They finish breakfast. She wants to go on a drive. He suggests that they drive out to this multiplex on the peripheral of town, and see if they manage any tickets, being a Sunday. They manage a movie. He is careful to sit leaned to one side. The side away from her. Doesn't want to be giving off any unwanted ideas. Movie got done too. The drive back home was made even more pleasant by the unpredictable weather. It rained. She was all excited.While staring out the window, she unconsciously rested her hand on his shoulder. He had trouble breathing.And then he could breathe again.The hand was off.
He dropped her off at her place, and drove back home replaying the entire day in his head. He felt it went quite well.
When his mobile beeped to let him know that a messaged had arrived. He looked at it when he reached home. It was from her.
"If the day wasn't as perfect as it was, I would have met you again.....!!!!!"

Saturday, September 08, 2007

The death of a crush

Dusty looked up from his computer as he felt somebody's presence in the passage way in front of him. He saw this woman. Straight hair, clear skinned and on the heavy side. In a very long time, he felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He felt it so much, that he had to look away, as he felt his face flush. He was one of those who blushed very easily. It had been his bane since his time began.

In college his pals used to take bets on who could make Dusty blush the fastest. And they'd look at him and say, "blush", and he'd be blushing.

It probably showed so much on his face, that BJ sitting a little away from him noticed it. And queried, and the blushing face gave it all away.

Being the good samaritan that BJ is, she spoke to Pretty Lady and let her know that there is this crush-lorn chappie, who'd love to simply say hello to her.

And Pretty Lady replied (as reported by BJ)

"Who?!!! Him?!!!! Forget it..!!!!!"


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

He moved from Mumbai to Bangalore with his company. He was joining a global team that did work across the globe and his geographical purview was the whole of the Asia Pacific.

This though did not have any bearing on the fact that he had no place to sit in the offices in Bangalore. "We are 100% occupied", he was told. He was given some space in between sales callers, and collection callers. The din was unbearable. His boss based out of the UK didn't have much sway over the power brokers in Bangalore, and so he was of no use in such a situation.

Out of sheer frustration, he scourged all the floors of the building in search of a place, and eventually found the perfect spot. It was like a cabin, sans a door. It was perfect. And he was given permission to sit there by Mr.AR. Thrilled to have this new perfect seat, he walked in on the Monday. And he walked in into a power struggle. Little did he know that the seat he was graciously offered belong to Ms.KS who had smoke and fire coming out of her nostrils, wondering who this punk was sitting right outside her cabin, in a space that belonged to her. Mr.AR didn't have the authority to grant office space that didn't belong to him.

Poor chap. He studiously avoided Ms.KS eyes through Monday and Tuesday. Sat in his 'perfect' seat with trepidation. Not knowing when he would get thrown out of there.

The office was empty. It was only him in his 'perfect' seat, and Ms. KS in her cabin. She walked out of her cabin, walked upto him, stuck out her hand and said,

"We haven't been formally introduced. I am KS."

He was petrified. He was certain he was going to be asked to not sit at this seat going forward.

With all this running in his head, he managed to mumble his name. Surprisingly she lingered around and asked him what he did and why he moved back to Bangalore. Then the killer blow where she said, she'd want him to move very quickly from that seat since she was looking actively to recruit somebody to her team.

While she was speaking, he had switched off. After the initial apprehension, when he realised that he had to go if he was ejected from that seat, it suddenly dawned on him that she was very nice looking. When the fear left him, he could appreciate the beauty that was in front of him. He noticed a nice smile and amazing skin. He blurted out while she was still speaking.

"Am I allowed one personal comment?"

She went quiet. Her eyes narrowed and she nodded slightly.

He simply said, "You are beautiful".

She blushed. Smiled. Looked everywhere but at him and said,

"You can sit here for as long as you want".